The Haunted

ravenshaw @ 2008-04-01T08:16:00

2008-04-01T07:16:52Z

Piano died.

ravenshaw @ 2008-03-30T21:42:00

2008-03-30T20:42:56Z

Piano MUST die...

Back

2008-02-21T22:39:44Z

Well, that was interesting.

If there is one place on Earth you don't want to be with a suspected case of Malaria and/or food poisoning/heat stroke it's probably Brazzaville airport. It was bad enough getting into the country, but leaving was a whole new level of hell. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

The journey to the Congo was actually quite pleasant, despite the interminable length and the near loss of my hat in a Parisian hotel. The flight from Paris went by much quicker than I could have hoped for, and I was only on about my twenty-seventh imagined 'crisis in the skies' scenario by the time we landed.

We left Paris mid-morning, and arrived at Brazzaville at 7pm local time. To say that it’s a culture shock is an understatement. Because we landed in the dark, I didn’t have the opportunity to survey the city from the air, so my limited experience is based on the time we spent at the airport, on the way to the hotel and the hotel itself.

Brazzaville airport is very small, but that wasn’t my first thought. I had been warned that the air temperature and humidity would change as soon as the cabin doors opened, but I found that the air conditioning on the plane was sufficient to keep the worst at bay. Stepping out of the cabin onto the runway, I was greeted by an amazing wave of heat. My first instinct was that this was actually quite pleasant and then the humidity hit me. I’ve never been further south than Northern Europe, so my experience of heat is that it’s something that happens occasionally and can be easily dodged if you go into a shaded or covered area. Everywhere is hot here.

As I was saying, the airport was small. About 200 passengers were herded into Passport control, where we were greeted by a variety of very stern gentlemen asking for our passports. I don’t speak French, the national language, but one of our hosts, who had flown over from Holland, Remco, was fairly adept. It didn’t matter, as one of the local fixers used by the company bounded through passport control and started to harangue the person to speed us through the process. He then proceeded to bound back through Passport control to wait for our luggage. Needless to say, he didn’t show his passport, and, for him at least, security was a little lax. We were still held up slightly, but soon we had moved past the glass cubicles into the baggage area.

The baggage area was probably no bigger than ten metres wide by about 20 metres long and was dominated by the carousel in the middle of the room. While we were waiting for our bags to present themselves, we were constantly being buffeted by people who had got their baggage and had loaded it onto the ancient trolleys that were littered around the room. Unable to communicate with anyone except our hosts, it made me very nervous. What if we were separated? What if something happens to one of us? The idea of a big bad something loomed large in my mind, but luckily, or perhaps predictably, nothing did.

We were led by our fixer, Felix, to a minivan parked outside. My companion Remco explained to me that even CEO's of forest companies don't wear suits and ties in the Congo, it's too damn hot, but Felix was wearing one anyway. I guess you have to look the business in this part of town to get things done.

‘Papa?’ a young street kid looked at me with expectant eyes. It was obvious that he didn’t care who Papa was, he just wanted some cash from the rich (!) tourists that had just landed. I didn’t give him any. After a while he drifted to someone else in our party and tried a different tack: ‘Mama?’. Even after we had closed the doors to the van and drove off he was still looking at us.

Through the streets of Brazzaville we drove, not really knowing where we were going. Again, I was worried. We were expecting to go to the CIB accommodation on the outskirts of Brazzaville, but we ended up in a hotel instead, Hotel Saphir. The exterior and lobby of the hotel didn’t do the rest of the complex any justice. Whereas they were small and cramped, the hotel was expansive and spacious. The swimming pool in the centre courtyard looked inviting, but as I’m more Orca than Dolphin, I decided against it. After a very quick phone call to my girlfriend, during which I nearly burst into tears, I headed up to my room.

My room was large, but sparsely furnished, with two single beds and a tiny desk filling barely half of the room. A tiny white fridge sat in the opposite corner, and would have seemed out of place in any other hotel I’ve ever stayed in but here it wasn’t surprising. Even with the sparking air conditioning unit in the room blaring constantly, it was still sweltering in the room.

Luckily, the bar and restaurant were more agreeable. Four of us were eating that night and in the spirit of adventure we all decided to eat steaks. There was traditional Congo fare, but after the fairly terrible steak I had, I’m glad we didn’t try it. The highlight of the evening was when all the lights in the complex went out. There was a quick gasp from us and a very hearty hoorah from the locals, which I took to mean that this sort of thing happens quite often.

After a fairly sleepless night, we left early in the morning to fly to Ouesso. Even though it was an internal flight we still had to pass through some security checks. These consisted of the guards checking our passports a few times and asking us to open, but not search, our bags. And with that we flew to Ouesso on a South African owned DC-9 that leaked when it flew too high and steamed after landing. This was the flight I was most worried about, but it passed off without incident until we landed. There we had to surrender our passports to the local police, which was very worrying for me at this stage, but we were assured that we would get them back by a large, gregarious Frenchman we met from CIB, the company we were visiting, called Sebastian. He told us that a lot of the ex-pats, as they called themselves, thought of Brazzaville as the Roman empire and that Pokola, the village were CIB is based, was Gaul, mirroring the Asterisk and Obelix stories, quite what that made Ouesso I have no idea, but it kept me occupied trying to think of a suitable candidate.

Ouesso is a one-goat town. Brazzaville, being the capital, has had a large amount of money spent on it. Ouesso has a half-built airport and an office of the national bank that wouldn't look out of place on Canary Wharf but that's about it. We spent our time waiting for our lift to the river in the Soweto bar, a wooden shack that has probably the only working fridge in town. The heat was intense, but we were able to get a couple of cokes to pass the time. When we got them Sebastian told us to ignore the rust on the glass bottles, he said they all come like that.

We spent about an hour in the baking heat before we got our passports back and we began driving to the Sangha River. This is a truly beautiful stretch of water that runs into the Congo river and would take us to Pokola. Along both banks is the tropical rainforest of the Congo Basin, with a canopy 60 metres high, stretching out for hundreds of kilometres in all directions, it dominates central Africa. We got into the speedboat and started our final leg.

To be continued...

Off to the Jungle

2008-02-11T21:55:04Z

So, the day has finally arrived.

Or rather, it will arrive tomorrow. In fact, although I'm flying out of the country tomorrow, I won't be reaching Congo-Brazzaville until Wednesday so the day will arrive then, I guess.

I must admit I am really nervous. I don't mind flying, I enjoy looking out of windows and admiring the sheer awesome power of science in action, but the thought of a horrible crash or accident really scares me stupid. I know that I'm more likely to be killed walking to work or going anywhere in the car, but the primitive part of my brain can't shake the fear.

I figure once I'm on the plane I'll be okay, but I've got six flights to catch this week. Having seen the landing strip at Pokola, my destination for the duration, the middle two will be the worst. It's basically a dirt road, with a river at one end, a village on one side and the mill on the other. At least they've replaced the internal Antonov fleet, but I have no idea what with.

Suffice to say, if I don't make it back it's been a pleasure....

PS. Here are a few websites to whet your appetite:

http://www.whrc.org/africa/INFORMS/study_sites/Ndoki.htm - This is where I'm traveling to, visiting CIB.
http://www.gabrielopenshaw.com/CongoMain.html - A huge amount of info on Brazzaville, where I'm staying initially, and more on the south of Congo-Brazzaville. Please note the guns on the train journey, Yay!

ravenshaw @ 2008-01-08T22:51:00

2008-01-08T23:12:29Z

Okay, a little less enigmatic might help, eh?

Originally my Boss, Vicky and her Boss, Tim Wood, were supposed to be traveling to the Republic of Congo to visit one of our suppliers. Tim left the company a few months ago under a veil of misinformation and Vicky became pregnant and therefore unable to travel so close to her due date. After talking it over with the Chief Exec, Vicky put my name forward as a possible candidate to go. Which was a bit of a shock.

After a brief discussion with Fay about whether or not she would mind if I went, she doesn't, I told Vicky that I would love to go in her stead with our Timber Imports Guy, Pete Scott. The itinerary is as follows:

We leave Manchester, stay overnight in Paris, fly to the capital of the Republic, Brazzaville, spend a night there, then fly to Pokola, the Forest itself.

I don't know if you've seen satellite pictures of the Congo, but it is essentially a green mass, with tiny areas that might be civilisation. There is a total of 1,242km of paved highways and 795km of rail track in the Congo. To put that into some perspective, the Republic of Congo is larger than the UK, but we have 370,000km of roads and 16,000km of rail track. Hence the reason we're flying everywhere.

After three days in Pokola we'll fly to Doualla, Cameroon, catch a night flight back to Paris and then hop on a plane to Manchester.

Apparently, we'll be at Pokola at the end of the dry season, as it is above the Equator, but while we're in Brazzaville, south of the Equator, we might need an umbrella as it's the end of the rainy season.

I've had some of my jabs, Diphtheria, Tetanus and Polio in one arm, Hepatitis A and B in the other. I've got to go back for Yellow Fever and Typhoid Fever and to collect my Malaria pills as the Congo is bright red on the warning map the nurse showed me.

I hate heights, bugs and the heat. It could be an interesting trip.

I'm kidding, I'm going to love it.

I Am Legend

2007-12-31T01:00:54Z

So, what makes I Am Legend a terrible movie?

Will Smith, as Robert Neville, is good, really good. For most of the film, he's all we have, and his truly great performance is too measured and subtle for a film of this calibre. Having said that, the acting of his sidekick dog is too good for this film, so perhaps that's not the greatest compliment. It is the only nice thing I'm saying about this movie, though, so savour it.

The special effects aren't that special. The Vampires/Zombies are terrible throwbacks to the first Steven Sommers Mummy film; they have wide gawping mouths that look cartoonish and impossibly wide and all they seem to do is scream impotently. They are grey, obviously computer generated, freaks that have an implied backstory and a definite agenda, but this is never explored once by anyone in the film. They are at once crafty and stupid, capable of trapping Neville with a snare trap but portrayed elsewhere as simple, mindless, bloodlusting monsters. It's not even as though there is a hierachy of stupidity, with leaders being slightly more clever. The vampire 'leader', while capable of capturing Neville, is seen at the end of the film screaming and throwing himself at a plate glass window.

Another example of this stupidity is during the first scene that we see the Vampires. They eviscerate a Deer being chased by Neville and his dog, and yet seem to stop in the middle of a dark room, facing away from their kill, just so that they don't immediately see Neville as he wanders into their nest. It's done to build up tension, but it doesn't make a lot of sense.

Every shock is practically telephoned in and is always the most obvious and direct way to make the audience jump out of their seat. In a dark room? Have a Vampire scream out from the blackness! Movie flagging? Cut to a rabid rat in a cage! This lazy movie making extends to almost all parts of the film. I swear that the sidekick dog is there to be killed only for the emotional sympathy it's supposed to generate in the audience. The flashbacks are only there to flesh out Neville's otherwise weak motivation for staying in New York to try to cure the virus.

This extends to the reason for killing off the main character. You can't have a living legend so Neville has to die, heroically of course, after curing the KV virus, by blowing himself up. In the novel, Neville actually becomes the monster, killing the so-called 'Still-Living', those infected by the virus but not exhibiting the bloodlust and insanity. His legend is not fame but infamy, he becomes a mirror to the vampiric condition, slaying all during the day. I don't think Hollywood was ready for that, but I know I would much rather have seen that movie than the crap I saw tonight.

PS. The virus wipes out all life on the planet but is killed by cold. Why the fuck is Vermont the place where humanity starts all over again? In the movie it's claimed that the Vermont Mountains are cold enough to kill the virus but the walled outpost that the two surviving 'characters' finally reach is definitely not in the mountains and it doesn't look remotely chilly. Even if Vermont is icy enough, then surely there are other places that are even colder than that, making the tagline Last Man on Earth slightly bogus. Canada, anyone?

Before the day ends....

2007-12-25T23:10:57Z

Happy Xmas!

Holy...

2007-12-18T21:19:09Z

I might be going to the Congo....

Richard Jacques Interview

2007-11-25T14:33:02Z

For all the game music fans reading this:

http://www.ukresistance.co.uk/2007/11/worlds-most-in-depth-richard-jacques.html

Its a pretty good interview, with a few depressing/cheering things in it. My favourite bit:

'You've got to literally be better than everyone else to get a full-time composing job.'

Never mind, eh?

Cheered up...

2007-10-25T22:10:42Z

I'm a little less melodramatic now. Two things have cheered me up considerably, first season 2, episode 5 of Heroes. Two words: Kristen Bell!

Secondly, I've just been to see Stardust with Fay, and it was amazingly good. It reminded me of The Princess Bride but with the music and effects done right, so was much better.

I iz in ur carz...

2007-09-04T10:22:37Z

Failing ur testz.

Had my first driving test today, failed on two bah silly things. I get to try again in November because there's an eleven week waiting list.

ravenshaw @ 2007-06-24T20:18:00

2007-06-24T19:18:40Z

I just joined the National Trust.

I am now officially my Dad....

ravenshaw @ 2007-06-24T20:16:00

2007-06-24T19:17:37Z

Happy Birthday, Simon!

(You get an exclamation mark too!)

Midnight Resistance

2007-06-16T17:59:06Z

I've had a strange obsession with a computer game called Midnight Resistance for a few years now, mainly with the music from said game. I've wanted to remix the main title music for an age, but I've not really had the motivation until this weekend.

Midnight Resistance

Warning: Listening to this music will officially make you a nerd. Oh, and its a bit loud.

Back.

2007-05-29T19:05:27Z

Okay. So, we've finally moved.

Before the big day I'd managed to blag a few free things for the new house. The first was a desk from work. It's one of those large, sturdy affairs that'll last until the end of time that was only being thrown out because of a refurbishment.

The second was a piano.

Yes, a piano. Someone was just giving one away around the corner from my parent's house so I offered to take it off their hands. It's now sitting proudly in my front room ,after taking a few chunks out of the wall and the floor. It's a bit out of tune, but nothing that can't be fixed. I must admit I'm a little out of practice, but once I've passed my driving test, I think I'll start taking some lessons again.

The house is great, I don't think I could be happier with it. Actually, it could have a cellar with wall to wall bookcases, but that's just crazy talk. We've just about unpacked everything, so we've begun to actually live there now, silly as it seems since we moved in a month ago.

Work has been quite tense recently. We've had a problem recently with stock, or the lack of it in certain areas, namely ones I'm responsible for, and I've been getting it in the neck. In my defence I tried to point out the problems of doing two jobs at the same time, but I fear it fell on deaf ears and antagonised my boss.

Bizarrely, while I'm being made to feel two inches tall by her, the Chief Exec has come up to me and thanked me for the environmental stuff I've been doing. Luckily, that's the job I'm going to be doing full-time from Thursday as we've finally found some poor fellow to take over my old job.

Nearly back...

2007-05-22T07:47:36Z

Sorry I've not been online for an age now. I had to disconnect fairly early in the move and, for one reason and another, I've not been able to use the internet at work as much as I'd like. I should be back on the 29th of May. Catch you later.

House sale final!

2007-03-30T20:20:35Z

One piece of good news, for keen eyed viewers, is that the house sale is finalised, we have done all the necessary paperwork and we're moving on the 1st of May.

SLA Industries For Free?!

2007-03-23T08:22:10Z

Download page here

Heroes

2007-03-18T23:58:12Z

Is anyone else watching this?

Hot Fuzz

2007-02-15T23:10:55Z

Just seen. You must see too. Now begins the pimping of THE comedy movie of the year.

Serenity

2007-02-07T22:52:04Z

Just bought the Serenity RPG. It looks really good so far, I'm liking the ship design rules a lot.

You know when it's time to leave when....

2006-12-09T00:48:54Z

A) Your boss opens up an umbrella in the roughest pub in town
B) The bouncers threaten to throw him out
C) Your boss gives the bouncer the 'What me?' face
D) The bouncer gives your boss the 'Yes you' face
E) Your boss continues to give the 'I'm with stupid' face
F) The Bouncer kills your boss

I left at D.

Brutal Honesty Meme - This could have turned out better...

2006-12-07T18:22:25Z

Loser- INTP

20% Extraversion, 73% Intuition, 66% Thinking, 46% Judging

Talked to another human being lately? I'm serious. You value knowledge above ALL else. You love new ideas, and become very excited over abstractions and theories. The fact that nobody else cares still hasn't become apparent to you...

Nerd's a great word to describe you, and I seriously couldn't care less about the different definitions of the word and why you're actually more of a geek than a nerd. Don't pretend you weren't thinking that. You want every single miniscule fact and theory to be presented correctly.

Critical? Sarcastic? Cynical? Pessimistic? Just a few words to describe you when you're at your very best...*cough* Sorry, I mean worst. Picking up the dudes or dudettes isn't something you find easy, but don't worry too much about it. You can blame it on your personality type now.

On top of all this, you're shy. Nice one, wench. No wonder you're on OKCupid!
Now, quickly go and delete everything about "theoretical questions" from your profile page. As long as nobody tries to start a conversation with you, just MAYBE you'll now have a chance of picking up a date. But don't get your hopes up.

I am interested though. If a tree fell over in a forest, would it really make a sound?

*****************

If you want to learn more about your personality type in a slightly less negative way, check out this.

*****************

The other personality types are as follows...

Loner - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving

Pushover - Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging

Criminal - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving

Borefest - Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging

Almost Perfect - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

Freak - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Crackpot - Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

Clown - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving

Sap - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging

Commander - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving

Do Gooder - Extraverted Sensing Thinking Judging

Scumbag - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving

Busybody - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging

Prick - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving

Dictator - Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Extraversion
You scored higher than 99% on Intuition
You scored higher than 99% on Thinking
You scored higher than 99% on Judging

Link: The Brutally Honest Personality Test written by UltimateMaster on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Neverwinter Nights 2

2006-11-02T17:44:14Z

Okay, so the game comes out tomorrow, but I've got an early copy. Why, oh why, do I need to download a patch!?

Transformers: The Fanfic

2006-10-27T12:31:00Z

'Me Grimlock want to hear Kup's war stories!'

No you don't. You want to hear the abridged, edited and sanitised versions, where all the good guys live, the evil bastards are punished, and there's a lovely moral of the story, that can be summed up in a sentence or two at the end. No Grimlock, you dumb sonofabitch, you don't want to hear about the wars I've fought in, only the victories, the near misses and the heroic defeats. Anything remotely like reality might frighten your tiny robot brain into doing something intelligent and giving up on war as a bad thing to do, and quite frankly, if we ever hope to win against the Decepticons, we need big, stupid, incredibly vicious killing machines, like you, as happy with war as you possibly can be.

I wrestled with the flight controls, but it didn't do much to shake off the large cruiser behind us, flaying our outer hull with laser fire. It did remind me of one story, but I hesitated, the end didn't go well for us. I remember the crushed metal and hollow screams of machines dying as the breach in the hull collapsed. I remember seeing the faces of my friends float into the ether. I remember, but wish I didn't.

A war without end. We can run, we can hide, but we will always war on each other. Time means nothing to us, the aeons pass by and we don't age or diminish. We are robots in our prime, destined to die in battle.

But Grimlock doesn't want to hear that.

'Let me tell you about the Shrypats of Dromadon...'